captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

(Source: faithlehaane, via succeeding)

inbalanced:

that random moment when you suddenly remember someone who is no longer in your life and it feels like a knife through the chest

(via crystallized-teardrops)

thechurchofbobsaget:

I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.

(via hotboyproblems)

textpostsandcats:

being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

(via succeeding)

sexualbae:

won’t drink lukewarm water but i’ll put another person’s genitals in my mouth

(Source: 666clit, via hotboyproblems)